How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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