iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
