hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
