I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
