i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
