"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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