We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
