I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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