...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I just forgot I was standing up.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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