i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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