she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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