she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
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