Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
