Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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