I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
