i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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