I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize