she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
