Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I could fuck to npr.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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