New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
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