You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
