Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
So drunk its hurt
My friends, they love my intelligence
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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