Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize