Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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