i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
