I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Randomize
