oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
