I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
