Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
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