I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
