I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
