i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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