someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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