Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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