We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
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He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
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I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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