FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
