Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
