I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
