are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
