Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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