when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
