ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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