At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
