idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
