you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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