I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
