Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
