guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
