My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
What a dumb baby whore.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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