So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
