Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
