who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
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Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
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Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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