I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
She even gives head with a lisp.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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