If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
