nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
