so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
