Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
her vagine was all disorganized.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
either way he was missing a nipple.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
