I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
