I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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