This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
