Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Couch. On fire.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
