So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
