Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
